the other day i had an epiphany about who the carer people are in cgp grays dragon king video and ive been slowly reforming my understanding of mortality and how to reconcile with it as a result.
we are ghosts casting shadows of information into the future for ghosts who dont exist yet from the shadows of ghosts from before who are gone now. we exist as a collective revolving door, one giant organism together, which collectively lives on through our procreation and memory, but we as individual units are like cells, we decay and are recycled - but our ideas, our impact casts a shadow, and the shadow we cast describes the shadow we dwelled in and so the shadows from before are carried on if not in a physical way but in memory. what happens to each of us individually when we die? plenty of answers to this, but like i knew before i fell all apart about this the same way i know now, this cannot be the focus and still be able to enjoy life at all.
for me, it feels simple to say even if its difficult to do - i must live.