Conversation

Because, having lived life as a woman, I can tell you how much energy I put into avoiding being perceived with negative woman stereotypes.

Does he think I'm stupid? Does that small mistakes make me look like a bad driver? If I don't phrase this just right, will he think I don't know what I'm talking about? Don't ever change your mind, that's a thing stereotypical women do. Am I using this tool incorrectly and will someone mock me if they notice? I will lift that heavy thing no matter what so they know I'm just as strong. I will endure this pain without complaint so they know I can take it. I will keep my emotions calm and measured so they don't think I'm just a hysterical woman.

I AVOID these stereotypes. I feel it incumbent upon me as a woman to disprove these stereotypes! We all do. Feminists do. To the point of being unhealthy. In fact, I'm remembering a blog post I wrote (I may link it later) during one of the Twitter dramas way back, over whether it was ok for a female gamer to openly enjoy picking the healer role ona raid because that reinforces the stereotype.

Men's rights activists, where the hell are you on this? It seems as if you LIKE having the stereotype of being rapey. What is this???

If someone told me, "Luna, we can't have you in the tech room because we think you'll break the machinery just from being near it, because you are a woman," at this point in my life I'd probably punch them.

But "we can't let you in the women's area bc men are rapey," my dudes, your head is NOT IN THE GAME.

Yes, men ARE rapey. But in feminism-land, we've had four waves of feminism across 100 years of women policing other women on how to not be a shit woman. And how to not reinforce harmful stereotypes. And huge debates about whether or not it's ok to fit that stereotype if that's how you actually want to be! (wrt to things like nurturing and homemaking.)

There wouldn't have to BE segregated women's spaces after 100 years of men being like, "hey dude that's kinda rapey, can you not? Women hate us enough as it is!"