🏆 New Achievement! API Keys to the Kingdom!
Step right up, friend, and may I interest you in our Premium API Key Vault — only $49.99 a month, installed after the breach, naturally. OpenCode, the open-source AI coding agent snapping at Claude Code and Cursor's heels, announced attackers hit an older system overnight and walked off with API keys belonging to 1.4% of OpenCode Console users. (1/3)
Those keys are now presumably hard at work running large-scale model distillation attacks — someone's building a knockoff AI empire on your tab. The company called it out themselves on X, which, respect.
Might I also upsell you our Hindsight Firewall? Worthless, but the box looks great.
Rotate your API keys immediately and audit your AI service accounts for any surprise charges you definitely did not authorize. (2/3)
