https://youtu.be/kBDuSZ0vgaw
Harvard Thinking: The perils of perfectionism.

Wow, for me these are really valuable ideas.

I confess that I have tied my self-esteem to achievement. They talk about "mattering", AFAIK it is the value of yourself is like independent of wherever you succeed or not.

I am really being fearful to get help from like psychologist, and part of that at least is showing my non perfectness, weakness to society. And also maybe being criticised about it.
These are probably irrational thoughts, but still they occur.